Okay, everyone. If you celebrate it, I hope you all had a good Easter. I had a great one. Aside from a bowl of cereal in the morning, my diet consisted entirely of marshmallow Peeps (you think I'm joking). It was awesome. There was so much sugar in me, I was seeing everything in bullet-time.

I also wanted to spread the news of a new anime that's hitting the world pretty soon. It's called Lucky Star, and I'm hoping to aid in making it a huge hit. It looks awesome, judging by it's opening song:

Okay, it looks like it'll be another chunk of time before I can start regularly posting again. Stick with me for a little while until things clear up. I'll be back before you know it!

Recently, my friend Stephen has been doing a lot of fanart involving the excellent video game series Harvest Moon. I wanted to remind readers that he is not the only Harvest Moon fan with a Xanga. I too am able to produce fanart whenever I feel the need. Take, for example, my picture of the greatest Harvest Moon girl of them all, Popuri:

I wish I could have done more, but several things limited my skills. Mostly it was my cheap scanner, but I was also way too lazy to add any cool effects, like shading and shines. I had also planned to draw actual fingers, but that proved more difficult than I thought, so I just went with the "oven mitt" look. It's not too distracting. Don't worry, I don't plan to be doing posts like this everyday. I just felt like doing it today. So, until next time.

We start today with news from New Zealand (or, that place next to Australia). It seems that the New Zealand council wants to abolish the Easter bunny. They claim that rabbits (colloquially known as "bunnies") are a plague in their country, and making them famous may slow attempts to slaughter them. They have decided to replace the Easter bunny with their own local Easter kiwi. These small, adorable, flightless birds are known for, well, being small, adorable, and flightless. More often than not, Easter celebrators are taking this as an affront. The Easter bunny is just as much a symbol of the holiday as colored eggs and Jesus Christ. More news on this subject as events warrant. We now turn to Jimbo with today's technology update. Jimbo?

Thanks Jimbo. We here at JNN have been hearing a lot of talk about a game called Guitar Hero. Most of it is not so good. JNN reporters are hearing phrases such as "it's for wannabe gamers" and it being the "bane of geeks everywhere." It is time to set the records straight. I have never played the original Guitar Hero, but I have played its sequel (Guitar Hero 2). This game is awesome. Some viewers may have heard of a game called Amplitude. It is just like that, except you are given a guitar. If that's not awesome enough, the music is actually rather good, and the controls are very responsive. Truly, the guitar becomes part of the player's character. If the player is a hard-core rocker, he will look like a rocker. If he is a geek, he will, well, still look like a geek. Picture slacks, a button-down shirt, and a name tag on a lanyard playing a guitar and really getting into it. You'll catch my drift... So Jimbo, how's it looking in blog news?

Not so good Jimbo. It was previously announced that there would be an anime related post regarding irrational poses in certain anime. It is unfortunate to announce that this may be delayed, or even canceled, unless blog-researchers regain interest in the topic. Writers still hold that more anime posts are coming, but this particular topic is iffy at best.

Thank you Jimbo. We now turn to Ollie with your blaccuweather forecast. Ollie?

It's gon' rain!

Thank you Ollie. And that's all for today. Tune in next time to JNN, where we bring only the most important news... to you.

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I am sick and tired of getting colds

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Whenever somebody tries to bad-mouth recorders (the
musical instruments everyone is force to learn in grade school), I remind them
that it was one of the primary instruments in Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven.

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Isn’t it interesting how we were taught to write
exactly the same way, yet everybody’s handwriting is different?

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Reload! Shoot of the screen.

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How can people sleep at night knowing that there is no
known cure for narcolepsy?

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Going to an auto-parts store never fails to make me
feel like an idiot.

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I wonder how many car accidents are caused by people
trying to figure out what a novelty license plate is supposed to say.

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The US
military needs to make swords standard-issue equipment.

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You showed us… the ultimate dance! Thank you very much!
I just can’t stop crying… buckets of tears!

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I wonder how many anime companies are controlled by
yakuza.

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Remember: the phrase “eat an entire box of cookies”
does not always mean eating the actual box itself.

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I think it would be sort of neat to have a portable
form of one of those radio sound generators. Imagine being in a boring meeting
and you set off the flush sound.

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Prepare to qualify.

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I wonder how many people actually walk to the nearest
exit in the case of an emergency.

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I’m waiting for the day when the women of the world
lower their standards, and thin, pasty, white-guys suddenly become very much in
demand.

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I wish that announced release dates would include the
time it takes to ship the product to stores. It would save me a lot of time and
heartache.
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Soon... soon I will be good enough to play this song in Guitar Hero II on expert difficulty.

Where I work, I get to see a lot of people and the types of
vehicles they drive. More often then I would have thought, I see a lot of
stereotypes. I see men in leather jackets driving their Harleys. I see the guys
in sunglasses and floral shirts driving their convertibles. I see old ladies
with their walkers driving Hummers. No, I am not making that last one up. A
startling number of old ladies drive big SUVs, including those crazy Hummers.
The old men drive sensible old-people vehicles, like Oldsmobiles and Hillman
Minxes, but the women feel some strange need to drive a vehicle with enough
cargo room to fit a freight locomotive, or possibly the state of Vermont. I just don’t
understand it. Why would such a group of people, who survive on a fixed income,
invest their money on these vehicles? I cannot imagine that any one of them
would fill up that much cargo space, unless she happens to own Vermont and feels like
taking a holiday. The worst part is when they are actually driving them. I
don’t actually see them driving; mostly
since they are too short to be seen over the steering wheel. They do, however,
have a horrible habit of driving at an absolutely blazing
fifteen-under-the-speed-limit. I believe some glaciers in Alaska move faster than these old ladies. Worse
yet, they seem to have some kind of attraction to the left lane. For those of
you not familiar with the rules of the road, the left lane is not for slow
traffic. If some vehicle is tailgating you, this goes to you readers as well,
then you should move over to the right lane so that that person can pass you
and flash the appropriate finger.

Well everyone, I have decided to change my life for the
better. I have converted to Scientology and already feel my life being more fulfilled. This religion just makes too much sense to ignore. Xenu was obviously a very bad dude.

I have also decided to forsake all video games. They have
ruined my life and consumed too much of my time. I have already destroyed most
of the vice-ridden consoles and their software compatriots. Never again shall
they do my mental well-being harm.

I have also decided to change my major to Liberal Arts. My
current major is far too specific, and will have no actual use in the real
world.

I’ve also decided to leave my home and live out in the woods
as a hunter-gatherer. I have already sharpened a spear, and am currently
assembling a bow. I have little success with hunting, as there is not much game
in this suburban area.

...

APRIL FOOLS! LOLOLOL!!!!1!
As if I would actually do any of these silly things.