Happy new year! With the start of every new year comes a new batch of anime series to follow. I know there's one in particular I've been looking forward to. Let us just hurry and get this started. As with last year, I will list them in order of my priority. Here we go:

Kimi ni Todoke - Second Season
Genre: romantic-comedy

Really, Sawako's ridiculous facial expressions are the primary reasons to watch.

Oh Kimi ni Todoke… It has been too long since your first season came to a close. Long have I awaited your return to the spotlight. I was truly concerned that I might not get to see you again and would have to content myself with the slow pace of the mange release. Fortunately, you have deigned to grace us with your presence once more. Shine your light down upon us unworthy viewers once again, oh glory of the current anime season.

Fractale
Genre: fantasy (?)

That's right folks! You can watch this series as it's released in Japan! For free! With subtitles! Legally!

Let me just say that this is probably the prettiest anime of the season. It feels like a Miyazaki movie from the art style, the sound score, and, to an extent, the story. It has an almost Terminator-meets-1984 feel, but takes place in some bizarrely quaint European village. If you hit mute, you could feel as if it was a peaceful, laid back world, but the subtle hints placed throughout point towards a dystopia of control. It was very impressive and has subtlety that is so often lost in the world of anime. I'm looking forward to more.

Gosick
Genre: comedy-mystery

"I'm not going to tell you much more of the case, Doctor. You know a conjurer gets no credit once he has explained his trick; and if I show you too much of my method of working, you will come to the conclusion that I am a very ordinary individual after all."

This one was a surprise for me. I expected it to be another series that attempted to act dark, but only comes out feeling goofy. Instead, it's an entertaining comedy-mystery with what must be the cutest Lolita to grace the world since Suiseiseki. Her little Sherlock Holmes impression was so adorable that I just wanted to pinch her cheeks and go, "d'awwwwwwww~". Nothing more is needed.
(Yay me, I managed to write that paragraph without once making fun of the anime's title)

Yumekui Merry
Genre: it hasn't decided yet

Where have I seen this before? Oh right… everywhere.

Look creators, just because your protagonist has amnesia does not mean your series is on equal footing with the likes of Our Lord and Saviour Kanon. Putting that aside, this one does pique my interest. The characters seem interesting and the concept of dipping into dreams has a very Inception-like feel. However, the series can't seem to pick a tone. It bounces from light-hearted romantic-comedy, to epic John Williams orchestral speeches, to random metal fight scene. It doesn't make for a bad series, but it just feels weird. Also, the character's mouths never seem to align properly. It's as though they are eternally having a stroke. Anyway, let us move on to round one: Nekomimi versus Jack Skellington

Dragon Crisis
Genre: action-comedy

Taken out of context, this scene makes about as much sense as it does when taken with context.

I like to consider this series the aspartame of the season. It's nice at the time, but leaves you unfulfilled and is forgotten once it's over. The characters are uninteresting and the plot doesn't make much sense (yet), but at the very least it has Rie Kugimiya saying "Ryuji" again. If all you want is to be reminded of Toradora, a much better anime, then you could do a lot worse than this one.

Oniichan no Koto Nanka Zenzen Suki Blah-de-blah-de-blah-etcetera
Genre: ecchi

This type of stocking is apparently designed to act as a tourniquet.

What the hell Japan? Seriously, what the hell? Can you ever let an anime season go by without some sister-brother fetishist anime passing? The whole "she's-my-sister-but-only-by-adoption" shtick is getting old. It has always been more than a little creepy, but the sheer insistence of presenting it time and time again makes me start to question the anime industry as a whole, or should I say the anime industry's view of its marketable audience. Anyway, this is another one of those anime. Take it for what it's worth.

Rio: Rainbow Gate!
Genre: ecchi

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs

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………….. Hmm? What? Oh, sorry, I was thinking of something else. Specifically, how much this anime sucks and how I'll probably drop it if it doesn't start making sense within the next few episodes.

Okay readers, I believe I have reached a conclusion. After much soul searching and digging through my somewhat extensive pop culture knowledge, I have finally decided on the song that most represents the 80s music era. It took some significant effort to try and define just how such a thing would be chosen. Here were my basic criteria:

• It had to have a repetitive but catchy synth line
• It had to have a trippy music video
• It had to be a one-hit wonder
• It had to be a song that everybody would recognize by sound, but could not name without a reminder
• The video has to have a creepy-looking lead singer
• It had to just feel 80s-ish

That last point is exceptionally ambiguous, but important. I could not possibly refine it any further, but I'm sure most of you are smart enough to understand.

I have decided that Baltimora's "Tarzan Boy" meets and exceeds all of the criteria and is most representative of the 80s decade in music. The music video pretty much says everything that needs to be said.

This was a difficult decision, especially near the end when I tried to narrow it down from other top contenders, like Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round" and Billy Ocean's "Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car". Ultimately, however, they were ruled out for being able to name the title without a hint and for not being a one-hit wonder, respectively.

Now to deal with this decision's hate-mail…

by Jimbo
Jimbo News Network - Literary Correspondent

A US publisher, 1023 Publishing, is causing shockwaves across the literary world with its recently announced plans to censor future printed editions of Charlotte Bronte's classic Jane Eyre. The publisher decided it was time to bring some of the book's themes to a more politically correct level of morality. "We just don't want to send the wrong message," said 1023 Publishing spokesman Jimbo.

The primary change planned is to the existence of Mr. Rochester's first wife, who was kept in an attic and forced Jane to abandon her beloved rather than force him to live in sin. In future editions, all such references will be removed. This will result in a significant decrease in the book's content. "The change will force the book to end much sooner, around chapter twenty-six," said the spokesman. "We already have plans to rewrite to a happier ending where the two are married sooner."

1023 Publishing fears that these references to Mr. Rochester's wife would cause backlash from the mentally handicapped and certain religious groups. A spokesperson from the Jimbo Institute of Mental Health had already stated that Mrs. Rochester's violent behaviour is poorly representative of the mentally handicapped community and paints the wrong picture. Religious groups also frown upon even the slightest allusion to bigamy. "The last thing we want is even the seed of the idea being planted in a poor child's mind," said Pastor Jimbo of the Church of Multiplying Loaves and Fishes.

Literature fans across the country are decrying the decision. They claim that this is nothing more than desecration to a literary classic. On the other side of the table, high school English students are celebrating the decision on the position that it means fewer words they have to read.

I took some time out recently to read the apocryphal First Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, which was rather fun. The first half was a bizarre yawn-fest, but it definitely picks up after Jesus leaves his diapers. It's at this point I have to admit that Jesus, as a child, was a bit of a prick. I don't mean to fuel a religious Xanga argument, but that's the way it seemed. Allow me to explain. In this gospel, Jesus did many things aside from healing leprosy with his bathwater and the like, such as:

• He turned a bunch of his playmates into sheep (I Infancy 17:7), albeit temporarily.
• He wouldn't do proper carpentry with his father since he simply used magic to alter the wood (I Infancy 16:4).
• He walks into a dyer's shop and throws all of the owner's work into a furnace (I Infancy 15:10).
• He killed a snake even after it followed his orders of sucking poison out of a bite victim (I Infancy 18:16).
• He kills a bunch of people for doing nothing more than bullying him or punishing him (I Infancy 19:21, 19:24, 20:15). Joseph himself even said to Mary, "henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for everyone who displeases him is killed." (20:16)
• He scares his parents by abandoning them for three days while he talks science with scholars (I Infancy 21).

Granted, most children would probably act this way if given godlike powers, but you would think Jesus would be different.

I just added my 249th favourite YouTube video!

The following is a true conversation

(Scene: Jimbo is ordering a pizza over the phone. The lady just asked what he would like to order)

Jimbo: Let me get a medium pizza with mushrooms and onions on it.
Lady: Would you like to upgrade that to a large? We have a special running where a large two-topping costs $11.99.
Jimbo: How much would my medium cost?
Lady: $17.99
Jimbo: Okay, go ahead an upgrade it.
Lady: Good. You wouldn't believe how many people just say that costs too much.
Jimbo: Really?
Lady: Yeah, they never even ask.
Jimbo: You'd think that would be a pertinent question.
Lady: I know. Anyway, your total, after tax, comes to […]

by Jimbo
Jimbo News Network - Political Correspondent

In a last ditch effort to bring about literal change in Washington, President Obama spent much of New Year's Eve in a DC retirement home. "I focused my campaign on change, and that's what I'm going to do," said the president while changing bedpans in the C wing.

While many of Obama's efforts were ambiguously considered change, this is the first incident of bipartisan approval. President Obama went from room to room greeting the elderly of DC and brought about change of bedpan, adult diaper, and bed sheets. "Considering we can actually see it, this is change we can believe in," said Speaker of the House hopeful John Boehner. 

"It really is nice of the President to come in and visit all of these people," said the head manager of the retirement home, Silvia Silvis. "Admittedly, it is a bit entertaining." She went on the list a few of the many puns being passed around the halls. For example, "I knew this 'change' was full of crap" and "the president has a lot of s--t to deal with."

President Obama was unavailable for comment after the visit, but appeared glad to leave shortly after midnight on the first.

I saw this musical meme on some blogs I frequent. I figured that since I measure my worth as a human being by my comment and footprint number, I could think of nothing better than following along. Here are some songs I listened to in 2010 (or possibly 2009, I don't remember) that altered my listening habits. Here we go:

10 Everybody's Talking 'Bout Sully - Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Jon Stewart
I heard this one during Comedy Central's autism awareness phone-a-thon (or whatever it was called) and just thought it was hilarious. I picked it up on iTunes (the only song I bought online in years), and still listen to it from time to time to remind myself of how much we forget in only a few year's time.

9 Slip - Deadmau5
I'm not a fan of techno. I can count all of the techno artists I enjoy on one hand with three fingers chopped off. Anyway, I heard this song on the radio, and I thought it was kind of neat. I can't possibly explain why, but I eventually picked up Random Album Title. Now Daft Punk doesn't have to feel too lonely on my iPod.

8 Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm
I don't remember when I first heard this song (I think it was this year), but it just made me giggle that I had to find it somewhere. I eventually picked up a CD titled The Edge, which was basically an alternative rock compilation that had this song on it. Most of the songs I didn't care for, but a few stuck. It wasn't Earth shaking, but it did bolster my iPod's minority percentage of music that was released after I was born.

7 Long Forgotten Sons - Rise Against
Fine, fine, I'll admit. I heard Rise Against's Savior before this... over and over and over again. After having it pummeled into my head, I finally picked up their CD Appeal to Reason. Mostly it was so I would have Savior on my iPod, but I heard this song pop up when I had it on shuffle. I was impressed and ended up listening to the rest of the CD. Now I find myself listening to it more and more often. Sheesh.

6 John Barleycorn Must Die - Traffic
This entry applies to both the song and the album. I only found out about it during Thanksgiving when I was digging through my dad's CD collection. I believe his words were, "what do you mean you never heard of Traffic!? Here, listen to this right now." I did, and regret nothing. I don't know why radio stations don't play Traffic music more often... or at all.

5 Gotta Catch Em All (feat. Tony Kakko) - Powerglove
I'm a fan of Sonata Arctica, so when I heard this speed metal rendition of the Pokemon theme song featuring the lead singer, I almost had a heart attack. I did some more digging on the band and found much to like. I highly recommend their X-Men and This Is Halloween renditions.

4 Peace Train - Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)
Obviously I heard of Cat Stevens before. You don't listen to classic rock for as long as I do without learning a thing or two. Nevertheless, I never paid much attention until he appeared at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. He played Peace Train and I saw that it was good. Another artist has been added to the ol' iPod.

3 Since You Been Gone - Rainbow
This song I heard on the radio, and I had never heard it before. It's very rare, given the stations I listen to, for a new song to surprise me. This one, nevertheless, was awesome. I picked up a Rainbow CD a few days later, and all was right with the world.

2 Strawberry Avalanche - Owl City
This one I first heard as a download for osu!. I'll admit, it was an easy map, but the song was so upbeat and "fruity" that I couldn't help but smile. I picked up an Owl City CD at fye a few days later and loved it (mostly). It was fun, boppy, and so saccharine that I thought my teeth were going to fall out.

1 The Whistler - Jethro Tull
I heard this song one time on the radio and was instantly impressed. It was original, catchy, and could be sung while sitting in traffic. I had heard of Jethro Tull before, of course, but this was the first song that actually piqued my interest.A meager few months later and Jethro Tull is now brushing the top ten on my Last.fm charts.

Star Wars was once the trilogy of kings
But now midichlorians, a cheesy Anakin, and things
    Made for an awful ride
    But look on the bright side
Peter Jackson gave us Lord of the Rings

The International Space Station
Deserves Morgan Freeman narration
    It's up in the sky
    Visible to the eye
Soon a holiday destination

The rule of Clinton then Bush then Obama
I'm sure there was no end to the drama
    But why should I care when
    I was in grade school then
Nobody cared about that DC melodrama

The bubble had long since burst
Internet biz feared the worst
    But with Facebook, Google, and Wikipedia
    Xanga, MySpace, and all of that video media
None can quench people's thirst

I could write about how the towers fell
Or how the War on Terror is Hell
    But if you know me
    You already see
There are no funny stories to tell

It turns out there was no Y2K bug
So Microsoft released their Vista lug
    The people did cry
    Microsoft didn't try
So now they offer 7 and a hug

A war on Christmas? When did that begin?
Whoever said "happy holidays" is a sin?
    The retailers do it
    There's no malice to it
It's just a capitalist thing